My blogs are like Jesus.

I am back to the world of writing things down that no one will read. Awww yea.

Funny thing happened when I got drunk a couple of months back. I blacked out and woke up in Austin, Texas. Figured I’m not one for regretting things, so I stayed. I have myself and interesting, and decently lucrative job. I’m actually making exactly what I was forecast for someone of my major to be making right out of college. That’s right, higher education, I’m totally flipping you the bird.

Austin is an interesting city indeed. People here seem to think Ron Paul is a good idea, which I just can’t wrap my head around. Maybe it has something to do with the gays. This is the only place I can think of where I can walk around walmart and say to myself “That has to be the gayest man I have ever seen in my life” only to have to say it again at an even gayer man 5 minutes later. Feather boa spotting has become a hobby of mine.

All the crazy sticking of genitals into places they don’t belong aside, everyone here is awesome. I’ve yet to meet a single person I don’t like. Even the homeless are good people. I chatted one of them up the other day. Dude had the most positive outlook on like I’ve ever seen. I gave him a 20 and went on about my way, but I couldn’t stop thinking about him. So chipper, and so optimistic. He was down on his luck, but genuinely seemed like he was trying to make the best of it. Of course, it could have all been a ruse meant to panhandle me out of my coin, but that would be ok too. I can respect a man using his wits get what he needs. I’ve always believed in helping out the downtrodden when I can. I’m not dumb enough to think that I’ve not been scammed before, nor that I won’t get scammed again, but if I give to 10 people, and one of them actually needed it, then I’m happy with that. I would rather give to those that don’t require it than refuse those that do.

Please excuse my ramblings. I am, as always, drunk. I’ll be back to talking about football next time.

No Music this time either. Suck It.

Angry Drunk

I’ve missed this thing for a while now. I even had comments waiting for approval on my return! Crazy stuff.

I found what may be the prettiest song I have heard in a long time. It’s just ridiculous. Unfortunately, I can’t find a way to link it from anywhere, so if you want to check it out the only way I can find is by going to the Myspaces and searching for Chelsea Wolfe, then listen to the song Dreamer. (HEY! I can link things! http://www.myspace.com/chelseawolfe hot damn)

On to Football talk. Chelsea makes me cry. Off to a good start, then a loss and then a draw at Blackburn puts us in 3rd. Good news: Still beating Manchester United, those bunch of slack jawed mongoloids.

Champions league play has started and Chelsea is off to a not so roaring start, being held to splitting the points with Rosenberg, of all clubs. Chelsea just keeps losing me money. God help me, I still love ‘em though.

It’s 4 in the morning, and I have to be at work in 6 hours. Instead of taking a nap, I’m sipping a drink, and typing out nonsense.

Jorden is in town, which means ADVENTURE! And we all know adventures lead to stories, which leads to decent bloggings (like I would know what that’s like).

Peace, niglets.

Music: The Knife – We Share Our Mother’s Health Dance, motherfuckers.

Rawr.

I’ve been somewhat busy with things lately, and have been neglecting my fledgling blog. I would apologize if anyone had noticed.

3 more days, bitch-hats. Premiere League action in just 3 more days. I will be so massively drunk, I may vomit out of my eyeballs. Then only 3 more days after that until I am in Indianapolis, where I will be so massively drunk, I plan to vomit out of my eyeballs.

I’m heading to Indy to prove myself as King of all Nerds, and the nerdiest thing in the universe, GenCon. I, by no small stretch, did not want to go to this thing until I started reading into it. A few things might make this the comedy event of the season.

1) A Dance

A quote, taken directly from the event site “Bring your best goth clothes”. 500 nerds at a dance is already funny enough, but you make them goth as well and I think we have something I will bring my camera to.

2) L.A.R.P.

It stands for Live Action Role Playing. Nothing can quite capture the awesomeness of a 45 year old man with elf ears on shouting “MAGIC MISSILE, MAGIC MISSILE” while throwing tennis balls at a bespectacled teenager in a cape. Now if this is what you do with your time, then good on you. I’m not having a go, everyone needs a hobby. Mine just happens to be being entertained by things like this.

3) A bar on the premises

I doubt I really have to say more to this effect.

So if you’re in Indy for the adventure, come say hello. I’ll be the shirtless drunk being escorted off the premises.

Music: Okkervil River – Our Life is not a Movie or Maybe

Heavy Metal Bullet

Ahh, glorious David Beckham. I love the man. Not a gay love (Though, if he came up to me and asked for a snog to help him play football, how can one deny him?). I wish he could actually do what he was brought here to do and bring football into the mainstream in America. This really can’t ever be though. Your average American associates too much of a stigma with it. It’s girly, there is no action, it’s all just running. :’(

An added effect of him living in America is that his wife also lives in America now, which means step one of my plan to get her into bed is complete.

Now, on to the serious businesses. The LA galaxy is playing my precious Chelsea on Saturday, and Mr. B. might miss the game. His ankle is hurt. If he has to sit out, I will understand. He needs to be healthy to play for England. And there isn’t much he can do against Chelsea anyway. Maybe make the score 10-1 instead of 10-0.

MLS all-star game is Thursday. This year we’ll be playing Celtic FC. Should be a fun game to watch. I’ll be having a couple of people over to enjoy the festivities, get drunk and shout GOAL as loud and as long as we can. I’ll be glad when the real football season starts. MLS is okay, but it just doesn’t top some good Chelsea on Arsenal action.

August 11th, by the way. Mark your calenders, as it’s the most important date of this year.

Musics:
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Lily Allen – Alfie (CSS Remix)

Veröld Ný Óg Óð

I am not entirely sure what I am looking to blog about today. I am just a little too bored and haven’t updated in a little too long.

I started a new (well, new for me) book. The Human Condition by Hannah Arendt. It’s come recommended as a nice little phenomenological inquiry. So far I’ve only read the introduction, but it seems well written, and quite easy to grasp. I’m not above going through “hard” books, but it’s nice to read something once and immediately understand. I’m not ashamed to admit, I had to read Critique of Pure Reason about 4 times.

I will be out of town this weekend for a trip to Tulsa, perhaps I will have pictures. Perhaps not. You never know with me. I’m pretty kooky.

I guess that’s all I really have for today. I’ll have a new mixtape friday for you …well friday. Until then, wubs.

Today’s music–

The National – About Today — so sad

HAI GUYZ! SUNDERLAND IS IN THE PREMIERE LEAGUE!!!11

I’ve been thinking about how I could let something so irresponsible as to post pretty much the same thing twice happen to such a prestigious blog as my own. I need to hire an editor. Someone who will keep track of these things for me. Tell me new names to call Man U, and its fans. I’ve decided to call upon my old friend, Ghost of Kurt Vonnegut to help me out here. His first order of business was to tell me to make a new music post. None of that talking about the tracks as I list them…since all it amounted to anyway was “This is good”.

EPDs MIXTAPE: FOR THE FUTURE!!!!! EDITION

Wilco – What Light

The Polyphonic Spree – Running Away

The Macho Man Randy Savage – Be a Man kick you in the butt and wash your mouth out with soap indeed

Lily Allen – Oh My God (Kaiser Chiefs cover)

JUSTICE – D.A.N.C.E. (mstrkrft Remix)

Until next time, blogoids.

Dress up in you.

Football season is a month and a half away. No amount of smiley faces can describe the excitement. Off season is the worse 2 months of my life. Now, not only does this mean I have something to watch, but also I can place bets on something I actually care about. I hate betting on basketball or baseball or American football, because I have no idea who I should go with, I don’t watch the game, and end up just having to call my bookie to figure out how much money I’ve won or lost (read: lost).

Sunderland, Derby and Birmingham have been added to the premiere league, but, sadly, that doesn’t make any difference. Derby might have the chance to not get relegated back to the small times. That’s a pretty big might.

Of course the top four will be Chelsea, Arsenal, Liverpool and that dreadful Manchester United. God (Allah, Buddha, Ganesh, the Goddess of Earth, Satan) willing, Chelsea will come out on top. I may be forced to eat a gun if I have to see those Manchester wankers win it again.

Of the two of your who read my blog, I’m pretty sure only one of you stands a chance at caring the least bit about what I just said (I’m sorry Mlle. Firewings), so on to other topics.

I can not win a game of poker to save my life at the moment. I’m playing scrubs, and losing my face. I don’t know what’s wrong. I guess the poker gods think I’m fat.

Ok, here is some music for your listening pleasure. Not enough people know about M. Ward. Post War is a song to drive the ladies wild. Today’s song is To Go Home, a piece of art so excellent, that if you don’t like it, I hate you.

M. Ward – To Go Home

Sometime I love my job.

An actual conversation.

Me: Thank you for calling support center, may I start with your national store number?

(For those of you who do not know, I currently work at a tech support center that provides troubleshooting for various companies, including McDonalds registers and office computers)

Him: (in a thick Mexican accent) It no work

M: What ‘no work’ sir?

H: The screen

M: Does this screen belong to your register or your ISP?

H: Yes

M: I see…What is the screen showing?

H: Nothing

M: So there’s nothing on the screen?

H: No, it has some words

M: And what does it say?

H: *click*

I probably shouldn’t find that as funny as I do.

Some music! : Architecture in Helsinki – Heart it Races

Buying things and stuff

I finally got around to buying a few albums I’ve been looking forward too. The first one being ‘The Reminder’ by Feist. I am very much pleased with this. Very solid all the way around. I’ll give you a sample.

Feist – 1234

The next one was ‘Boxer’ by The National. Once again, it’s great.

The National – Fake Empire

Actually, so far this year has been really good for music. Only a few disappointments (I’m looking at you, Clap Your Hands Say Yeah).Even more awesomeness to look forward too. The White Stripes’ new one drops the 29th, Iron and Wine have one coming, which I’ve heard has been leaked. I’ll have to check up on that. It’s been rumored that Wolf Parade is releasing something later this year. Happy times for all.

I should do some sort of crappy “Best musics far of 2007″ bloggings. Perhaps in the future.

Bush in Prague

I’m watching the president hold a conference with the President and Prime Minister of the Czech Republic, and I thought I would help out the world by simul-blogging the event.

Vaclav Klaus (President of the Czech Republic): We love the US, we have always loved the US. We will continue to love the US forever. On to you, G-Dub.

President Bush: Heh, I think Prague is cool. Real cool. I like it here. I like you Mr. Klaus (editor’s note: you can tell by the look in his eye, he’s thinking of Santa). Do you guys like a missile defense shield? I like a missile defense shield. Putin, why don’t you? This isn’t the ColdWar, the cold war is over (editor’s note 2: Look at that smirk, you know he wants to say “And we won”). This missile defense shield has nothing against you Putin *wink*. Now the Czech people have voiced concerns about visas. They say “We are such a staunch ally in the war on terror, can’t you loosen up the Visas on us?”. I say to you, I’ll work on it, but I’m pretty busy keeping Mexicans out. Thank you for your time.

Then Mirek Topolanek, the Prime Minister, starts to speak but NO NETWORK on cable cared. I didn’t get one translated word. But who cares, he’s a foreigner.